perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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