id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
