Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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