So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
