4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
