You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
