don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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