she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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