...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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