just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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