well you can't waste a boner
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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