don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
