i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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