Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
