I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
