I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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