The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When are your genitals available?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
