I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
