last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
