At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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