we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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