Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
