there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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