Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
