She said her name was "party"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
