oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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