Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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