Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize