i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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