You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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