I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
