well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
