omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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