I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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