What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
