I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
