that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize