Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How does one acquire holy water?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
