i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
