Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize