Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
