Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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