Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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