His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
