Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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