Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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