New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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