we're blogging at a bar
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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