bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
