I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
