this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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