No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
