I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
