Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Randomize
