I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
