are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
