I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
