we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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