i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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