nut hugger
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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