The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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